The 2017 Golden Globes

Ahh, the Golden Globes.  As I look down at my post-holiday belly pudge, my first thought is for all of those women who could not indulge over the holidays for fear they would be judged for looking less than "perfect" in front of millions of people.  So thank you, ladies and gentlemen of the red carpet, for getting all gussied up and continuing the time honored tradition of lining up for a firing squad of photographers and critics . . .  

Blake Lively rarely makes fashion mistakes these days, and this dress is no exception.  This velvet Versace is gorgeous; love the train, love the neckline, love the velvet.  The first image I saw was from a side angle, and the chainmail/liquid lame/whatever that stuff is hangs slightly low under the arm which makes the black velvet visible which looks like a mistake.  I am not completely sold on the placement of the "pockets," but it sure does flatter her body, so all I am going to say is that it looks rather silly trying to shove a hand into something I feel is merely decorative.  Let's call it a drape or embellishment and keep the hands away, please.  And I kind of like the matching cuffs with that pop of green, but that might just be gilding the lily.  Hey, how about we play a game and put her in a burlap sack and see how that looks . . . because I think she would still look stunning.  It may not be fair, but this woman won the genetics lottery.  And Versace really knows how to make velvet sing!

Yes, the whole woman in a tuxedo thing has been done before, and will certainly be done again.  In my opinion, these attempts either look amazing or fall horribly flat.  Evan Rachel Woods and Altuzara Custom got it just right.  This almost makes me want to wear a pair of pants!  The double breasted vest with that oversized bow looks immaculate, and the hair is the perfect finishing touch.  My one nitpick would be the length of the pants.  I find it really distracting when you cannot see the tips of the shoes.  It would look ridiculous if the arms of a jacket obscure the entire hand, and I feel the same way about the pants.  Besides, I am sure there are some fabulous shoes under there . . . so why are you hiding them?!  But I just don't care because this looks so darn fabulous!!

I do not know who Teresa Palmer is, but I like her choice of Armani Privé.  This looks like classic Hollywood, and I totally approve.  I would have liked a simple drop earring, or a cuff.  The spare look works, but this is the red carpet, after all.  I have a feeling she did a Coco Chanel and took one too many accessories off when she did that final look in the mirror before heading out.  That clutch is also an odd choice - should have lost the clutch and kept the jewels!

John Galliano was inspired by Gustav Klimt for his 2008 Couture Show, and it appears that Zuhair Murad is as well with this dress on Olivia Culpo (although this is a much more wearable garment).  I love the riot of color.  I am not really liking the bodice treatment here, and I really don't like the makeup, but from the waist down, this is exquisite.  Oh, and I think I like the earring with this dress, but I am going to have to find a better picture before I commit myself to that.  Now that I am really looking at this, I would have preferred to see Emma Stone in this dress and Olivia in Emma's Valentino gown.

I know Caitriona Balfe is in Outlander, and I have seen her wearing some glorious costumes in online photos.  It is slightly jarring to see her in something so modern, but I am now convinced that she is another one of those women who can wear anything.  If I saw this Erdem dress (which I assumed was Prada when I first saw it) on anyone else, I would probably think they were crazy for putting it on.  But this just works for her - that simple neckline is really lovely.  My understanding is that she was/is a model, so I suppose wearing crazy clothes could be considered her job, and boy does she do it well.  In this particular case, I think the lack of adornment except for that floral embellishment and a pair of stud earrings works really well.  Now I think what I would have like to have seen on Teresa's velvet gown was a brooch.

Zoe Saldana is in Gucci.  Her skin normally looks amazing, but this color is not doing anything for her.  I like the idea of the dress, but I think the ruffles look almost sloppy on the skirt.  The fabric either does not have enough weight, or too much.  And then that waist bow is just sitting there, looking like it belongs on a completely different dress.  I think this dress is too girly for Zoe.  I prefer when she wears designs with more of an edge.

I will start out by saying that I am not a big fan of the color yellow.  This particular shade is preferable to the radioactive looking neon worn by a couple of other ladies this year, but I am going to get past the color (which reminds me of Cate Blanchett's Valentino from the 2005 Oscars), because Reeese Witherspoon look exceptional in Atelier Versace.  There was a photo of the side angle of this dress, and I am not sure what the back neckline is doing, but from the front, that twisted detail is quite beautiful.  And I am really glad she decided to wear her hair up!

Does anyone else want to see this Burberry dress up close?  Is it embroidery, is it sequins?  I want to know how that textile was created!  Whatever it is, Laura Dern looks wonderful in this simple silhouette.  And hey, there is some yellow in there . . . what is happening to me . . .

Here is another wonderful silhouette.  But why are gowns breaking on the floor like a pair of men's trousers breaks over their instep?  Why?  What happened to Jessica Chastain's feet?  Enquiring mind want to know.  And when did the embroiderers go on strike at Prada? I find it rather rude that someone put this stunning lady in a dress when the embellishments are clearly unfinished.  Not all asymmetry is attractive on clothing, people.  Or maybe this is a Two-Face Halloween costume; one side is girly, on side is sleek and sophisticated - but her makeup does not match the theme.  I do love those diamond with that neckline, though!  Also, 90s pastels are back, minus the horrible eyeshadow and weird hair clips.  She needs more of that blue color in her wardrobe, though.

I really want to like this dress, but it does not work on Claire Foy.  I think perhaps the sleeves overwhelm her frame.  The silvery pink color of the Erdem gown is really beautiful with her skin, though.  I think this is just too big on her.

This Valentino gown on Emma Stone has potential, but I feel like she was trying too hard to match La La Land (i.e. dancing in the clouds/stars).  The dress reminds me of something Ginger Rogers might have worn in the 1930s.  And I really don't like the necklace with this neckline.  Perhaps they were going for a crescent moon to match the stars, but I find the round and high necklace jarring with the plunging v.  I would have preferred a delicate lavalier.  And has one of the stars escaped the confines of the overlay, or do we think it is supposed to be like that?  I definitely want to see her in that Klimt inspired gown.

Speaking of the 1930s, I can picture Myrna Loy wearing this Marchesa gown that Chrissy Teigen chose.  The metallic is bordering on obnoxious, but I think she pulls it off.  I hate the severe hair and the red clutch, though.  That crazy peplum, though, it pretty fabulous!

Okay, so I have mentioned before that I think Priyanka Chopra is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen, but her fashion choices are rarely my favorite.  This Ralph Lauren dress is looking a little Sharon Stone in Casino, especially with that necklace.  The pattern placement is sketchy, both top and bottom, but the gold color is stunning.  Maybe I would like this more if something had been done with the hair.  And again with the weird jewelry choices paired with the plunging necklines.  Someone get this lady a new stylist!

It would seem that Sophia Vergara never saw a sparkle she didn't like.  I love the fact that she is not in the same skintight strapless sweetheart neckline gown she usually wears.  I also really like the cut away shoulders.  And I can’t believe I am saying this, but I am beginning to get sick of the whole tulle encrusted with as many sparkly bits as humanly possible, but let's still look naked underneath theme.  I would be very interested to see one of these gowns up close.  Is it more spectacular than a photo, or does it look cheap?   This particular gown is Zuhair Murad who really started this craze, but now Monique Lhuillier and Marquesa, and everybody else is on the bandwagon and I am beginning to be blinded by all of the flash.  Then again, it would probably be a lot of fun to wear one, so I suppose I can't blame a girl for taking the opportunity!

Okay, I love Sarah Jessica Parker - I just don't love her dress, which makes me sad.  For a petite woman, she knows how to work with volume, and I have seen her haul around yards and yards of skirt with no problem, but this particular gown swamps her.  The horsehair hem issue is rearing its ugly head (again, with the horsehair on satin gowns!) and the bejeweled belt thing just does not look right to me.  Is it supposed to sit above the waistline, or did it just migrate?  Why is it there at all - it really adds nothing to the dress.  I have been staring at this gown for a while, trying to decide if a color change would make this work better . . . I don't think it would.  I really do like the dress, and the sleeve treatment (cold shoulders are back!), unfortunately this just does not work for me on Sarah Jessica.  She has make me rethink red carpet mohawks and plaid thigh-high boots, but every once in a while, I just can't get behind the outfit.

Michelle Williams chose to wear Louis Vuitton.  I really like the silhouette, and the minimal accessories really work - but the lace looks cheap to me.  I think the simple ribbon around the neck is a perfect touch.  This one has me conflicted.  And I really want to see the back of this one.

And just for fun, here is Janelle Monáe in Armani.  I love this - maybe because I miss Helena Bonham Carter's antics on the red carpet and it reminds me of something she might wear.  Although, she probably would have mis-matched shoes and be wearing a bird on her head!  I will admit that if someone else was wearing this, I might think this was slightly cheap looking with the oversized tulle, but Janelle makes this work.

Overall, I was not terribly impressed with the choices this year.  The fact that one of my favorites was a pants suit says a lot.  But I am going to keep searching out all those red carpet photos, just for the fun of it!  And I am already looking forward to the next red carpet . . .

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